I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
