I am in a vortex of obligation.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
