When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
