I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
soo... how was my night?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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