the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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