Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
