Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
