I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
