Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
this boner is exhausting
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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