____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
