Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize