1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
