people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
