u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
