Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
