She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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