All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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