If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
