Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Everyone says I win the strip club
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
