Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
