Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
