She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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