I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Randomize
