she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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