you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
