It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
