I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
