So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
