I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize