why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
