insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
