i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
