Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
