I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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