carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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