So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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