mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
