Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'm always down for nudity.
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