And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
