Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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