:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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