i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
