we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
