Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize