So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
