And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Randomize