our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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