so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
