i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
