I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
