he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
