You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
