i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
