it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I can't turn off my feet"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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