she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
