Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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