is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
