I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize