i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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