I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
